As an aspiring writer (aspiring to be traditionally published) the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it doesn’t JUST HAPPEN.
Attitudes towards writing are somewhat like attitudes towards teaching.
With teaching, everyone’s an expert because we’ve all been to school – so we know how it works. The thing is, it takes years of training in pedagogy, child development, content etc before you can teach EFFECTIVELY.
The same applies to writing. We all learn to write at school – different styles, formula formats and so on. However, at school, we only learn the superficial basics. If we want to be a truly EFFECTIVE writer, it takes years and years of study of the craft of writing (and even then, most people still get rejection letters).
Small steps to what will hopefully be an eventual success.